Observations

Some birds aren’t meant to be caged.

February 29, 2016

“I have to remind myself that some birds aren’t meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they’re gone. I guess I just miss my friend.”

The artwork in the photo above is on my desk. Laura bought it at an art fair. I never really thought about why she bought it until now. I think she knew it was symbolic of her inner beauty and grace. So big that it couldn’t be contained by cancer.

It’s difficult to put into words the amount of grief one goes through when losing someone that you’ve loved dearly.

I’m angry and I’m sad.

Angry that she was taken away from us too soon. Sad that I’ll no longer be able to hold her, talk to her and just be around her.

But then I remember all of the difficult times these past 2 years – the diagnosis, the numerous operations, the dreadful tests and exams, the waiting and the unknowns. There are just too many unpleasant experiences to list.

I try to find peace knowing that she’s no longer in pain, no longer suffering but I guess I just miss my wife.

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2 Comments

  • Reply Rachel February 29, 2016 at 9:16 pm

    One of my very favorite movies! I’ve made references about feeling like a bird that was caged by treatments, etc. in the past…

  • Reply Thomas Wiley February 29, 2016 at 9:33 pm

    My all-time favorite movie, I feel like I’m crawling through “a river of shit” right now. Eventually, I’ll come out clean.

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